Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Country Life

You know you live in the country when...

1. One of your close friends (and bowling league teammate) runs for town mayor.

2. And all it takes for him to get his name on the ballot goes something like this:  Joey and I go to the town hall building.  We walk into the one-room building.  Close friend (and bowling teammate) is sitting at a desk with another guy (presumably someone on the town council).  We sign our names on a sheet of paper and join friend's wife and mom in the row of folding chairs.  Another buddy walks in, signs his name, and joins us.  We're the only ones there. Meeting is called to order, other friend makes a motion to put friend's name on ballot for mayor.  Friend's wife seconds motion.  Meeting is adjourned.

3. Everyone who works at the town bar knows you would like a Coke before you even sit down in a bar stool   And probably a grilled cheese sandwich.  The girls at the gas station next to the library know exactly what you like on your sub sandwich.

4. You eat sandwiches from a gas station.

5. Someone brings one of your library regulars a box of homemade holiday candy and he gives you the peanut brittle because he doesn't have any teeth.  And you don't even think twice about eating homemade candy that was given to him by someone you don't know.  And it was good.

6.  You can't go to the Wal-mart half an hour away without seeing someone you know.  And of course, you have to stop and have a conversation with them.

7.  Being the town librarian makes you kind of a celebrity.

8.  More than once there has been a full color photo of you on the front page of the local paper.

9.  The local paper publishes the entire conversation of the little old ladies that get together for breakfast once a month.

10.  Your neighbor likes to spend his weekend riding his four-wheeler up and down the street and doing donuts at the end of your driveway and then relaxing in front of a toxic smoke bonfire of an old couch and pvc pipes.