Mommy cannot afford to buy you dog food if you continue to destroy her clothes. In the future, please refrain from jumping up and sinking your little puppy teeth into her shirts and pants, leaving behind gaping holes. You have already ruined your fourth shirt in as many days. Also, please stop pulling Mommy's underwear out of the laundry basket and hiding them under the couch. All cooperation in your part would be greatly appreciated and possibly rewarded with extra hugs and squeezes on the couch. Only if you promise not to bite Mommy's face.
Lots of love,
Your Human Mommy
P.S. Does anyone have any ideas about what to do with brand-new t-shirts with holes in them?